Ever since my wife and I moved to Nelson Mandela Bay I’ve become surrounded by surfers. Every tenth car has a surfboard or two on the roof. My flat overlooks a local break so whenever I want to sit on my balcony I’m forced to watch them catch wave after wave.

I want to be able to surf, but I don’t want to learn to surf.

Learning to surf is not fun. It’s exhausting. It’s painful. It’s frustrating.

I’ve been looking for a cheat code on how to surf. I’ve watched a few videos and bought an issue or two of ZigZag magazine. Too bad it’s not helping.

So, how am I going to learn to surf? How do and of us learn and master a new skill?

By the time he was 20 years old, the bold words spoken by the famous ancient Greek orator Demosthenes were already shaping his nation’s politics, law and culture. Surprisingly, just four years earlier he was a shy, sickly and weak boy who stammered when he spoke.

How did he learn to compose moving speeches and deliver them effortlessly?

Growing up as an orphan Demosthenes became aware that his guardians were stealing his families money. At 16 he decided that when he turned 18 he was going to challenge his adopted parents in court, a task that would require him to testify. Too bad he was unable to speak clearly.

With his goal, Demosthenes started to practice. He attended speeches, wrote his own and studied history (because everyone who wants to give moving speeches needs to know history very well).

He’d lock himself up in an underground study to practice writing and delivery day after day. At one point he even shaved one side of his head to make himself too embarrassed to go out in public, removing him from all the distractions of the outside world.

He famously made his voice stronger by putting pebbles in his mouth (like in the Kings Speech) and, while standing on the beach in a storm, would try to make himself heard over the sound of the waves.

He would recite poetry while running to strengthen his lungs.

Eventually, after months of hardship, he emerged with a new skill. At 18 he successfully testified against his guardians, and after years of further practice went on to deliver some of the most powerful speeches ever given.

Demosthenes is remembered in legend as one of the best orators of all time.

What the story of Demosthenes teaches us is that to learn a new skill and become great at it, we need to go through the pain of learning it.

Now I’m not going to shave half of my head or put pebbles in my mouth to master surfing. I am however going to face the exhaustion of paddling to the backline and the frustration and embarrassment of falling off the board after a few seconds on the wave. If I want to learn to surf badly enough, I need to get used to being uncomfortable.

The same goes for every other skill. If you want to be a great writer, read a lot and write a lot. If you want to be a great salesman, study psychology and practice speaking and selling. If you want to be a great parent, read the books and practice listening, patience, compassion and love.