We all belong to various communities made up of family, friends, acquaintances, work colleagues and people that we don’t know well. Each of these tribes have different social norms, values and a varying degree of closeness.

Some of these tribes will help you in times of need, others will show genuine concern and support, a few are unaware of what’s going on, and one or two just don’t give a shit.

What tribes do you want to belong to?

Recently we had a fire heading to my parent’s farm (“There’s a fire coming down the mountain, what do you do?”). It was stressful, panicked and crazy.

Through the process, there were groups of people from different stages of my life — different jobs, school, university, various hobbies and social circles that I’ve belonged to over the last 30 years — that provided support or offered to help and assist where possible.

What surprised me was how many groups of people that I don’t know (friends of a friend, neighbours of a neighbour, or people far removed from me at work) were so keen to help. Granted some of these people were looking for an adventure or were keen to be seen showing support, but does that matter?

Because tribes are made up of similar people with something in common, specific behaviour by most members of the tribe represents the tribe as a whole. (“birds of a feather flock together”)

That means that because a large group of work colleagues helped fight the fire or showed an interest in what was happening, the entire company was, in essence, supportive. That’s awesome corporate culture.

The same can be said about the large group of my old university friends who represented most of my old university friends.

A problem with being represented by the tribes that we belong to is that we’re tainted by the bad behaviour (arrogance, self-centeredness or worse) by most members of that tribe.

That’s the problem with being friends with the school bullies. Everyone thinks that you’re a bully as well.

If you want to be known as a good guy, hang out with good people.

If you want to be known as a bad guy, hang out with bad people.

Find your people. Choose your tribes wisely.